Why I don’t like flying…

I’m a big fan of the cartoon strip Dilbert, and whilst reading the Scott Adams Blog I came across these in one of the comments…

Apparently, Qantas pilots fill in a slip after every flight detailing any problems that may need rectifying by the ground crews… the ground crews then fill in response slip detailing any action taken.

Note that Qantas are the only airline not to have suffered a major incident:

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

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